Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Ta-Da! Genius Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Invents New Kind Of Math To Solve State’s Jobs Woes

Why is hero Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, recently seen bitching that the governor’s three-times-median-household-income salary just isn’t enough cheddar, being blamed just because his awesome economic policies of “fire everyone” have made his state plumb last in job growth? (Koch economic policies are obviously THE GREATEST economic policies, and every state should have more of them.) Does not everyone understand that if this is not Barack Obama’s fault, then it is the fault of the Union Thugz he fired, for protesting him? (That is a true thing Scott Walker said: that the mighty Wisconsin protests last year caused businesses to have “uncertainty,” thus forcing them to fire all their workers and flee the state.) 

Well, since nobody will believe him about that, Scott Walker has decided to do things a little more out-of-the-box: instead of being enslaved by these fuddy-duddy old-and-busted Department of Labor statistics, he is going to make up his own! So now his employment numbers will be slightly above zero, instead of slightly below! Does this change everything? THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. Tell us about it, Forbes! READ MORE »

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