Good news, America: Science reports that it has had communication with
an alternate dimension. Strangely enough, the message is once again from
pill-snarfing loon Michele Bachmann, who explains
that in fact, she ran a very nearly perfect campaign for president: “We
were extremely careful, and we were almost mistake-free, but for those
two points, Elvis Presley’s birthday and John Wayne’s birthplace.”
That’s nice. So is Michele Bachmann the Republican nominee in this
alternate dimension, after having run such a glorious campaign? Maybe
she is already President there, even? That’s too bad, it sounds like
that dimension might have been sort of a fun, kooky “wear your pants
backwards everyday” kind of place before Michele Bachmann quickly
annihilated it as its new leader. In this world, however, we can think
of several more mistakes Michele Bachmann made. What’s the first one,
off the top of the head? READ MORE »
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