Sunday, June 21, 2009

Vegetarians behind 99% of greenhouse gases

London - Killer global warming emissions from bean-guzzling, flesh-eschewing, veggie-nutters like Paul McCartney are melting more glaciers and displacing more polar bears/Emperor King penguins than the entire combined exhausts' output of Big Oil super majors such as Chevron and Exxon/Mobil.

This week's impassioned plea by the aging sexagenarian Beatle hoaxer for Compulsory Veggieburger Mondays was met with public derision as the daft ass crooner's carbon footprint swelled with the hot air of his self-important eco-babble.

"British vegetarians and their fascist nutter vegan first cousins produce more killer gas from their wacky self-imposed diets than all the coal-fired power stations in China," Prof V Smartt of the Institute of Hydrocarbons commented today.

A proposed plan to freeze-dry all dead 'veggies' and recycle their remains into carbon-neutral home insulation cladding has been sent to the Environment Ministry.

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