Thursday, July 23, 2009
SARAH PALIN NEW HEAD OF WNBA
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
NEW YORK, NY – After weeks of speculation as to why she quit/stepped-down/quit her duties as Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has resurfaced… in the sporting world. Today in New York, a press conference is scheduled to announce that the former ‘almost’ 2nd most powerful person on the planet has taken the lateral move to become commissioner of the WNBA.
(pause for silent applause and reflection).
Said current NBA czar of the universe, David Stern, ‘We couldn’t be more excited to have Sarah join our family. She’s smart, hot, finishes most jobs, and has the kind of experience we’re looking for because she played point guard in high school. Plus you know we are always talking about expansion in the WNBA, well she can see Europe from her new office in New York, and that has to count for something’.
The Governor-quitter was unavailable for comment yesterday, but her free-loading soulmate of a husband did offer some insight as to why Sarah would take the position. ‘First and foremost, it’s a really cool title’, said Todd Palin. ‘Sarah didn’t like the word ‘vice’ anyway, and commissioner solves that problem. Plus, can you think of anyone with a more qualified resume than her?’ Actually, this reporter can. But all of them have jobs.
How this effects the former Republican VP’s long-term political future is uncertain. Will this new 7-year appointment become her new 2-year passion? Or will the experience of running an unpopular league, dealing with dwindling fan bases and an uninteresting product, be the opportune springboard to a much higher office in 2012? I bet Newt Gingrich won’t be able to match this resume builder. Let’s see Mitt Romney come off his high horse of health care reform to talk about the new drama in the Mystic front office.
Way to go Sarah. You have once again proved that if they set their mind to it, women can do anything. Now if only the LPGA could lure Hillary Clinton to take a career step up, we’d start to have some gender equality.
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