Saturday, July 26, 2008

Chain Email About McCain And It’s All True

Someone forwarded this email to me. It’s from a 83-year old widow woman from Iowa who met McCain while he was campaigning there recently. It has to be all true because it was in an email and no one would ever spread lies via email about a presidential candidate; such an act would be wrong. Please pass it along because it shows 100%, unequivocally how evil McCain is and why he must not win the presidency.

Dear Quilting Bee Members:

I’m barely able to type this email to you because my broken fingers have not yet fully healed. When Sen. McCain was visiting our fair city a month ago, he came by my house for a photo opportunity. As you all know, my husband was a highly decorated battle captain in Korea who died fighting off a complete regimen of North Koreans while attempting to save a downed American Air Force pilot who looked a lot like William Holden. In fact, my husband was the inspiration for the movie The Bridges at Toko-Ri, so everything I say must be doubly true and repeated early and often. Also, please put it on the Internet because those people will believe anything.

Sen. McCain came into my living room with an entourage of photographers and was very kind. Then the photographers left and he said to me, “Well, now that I’ve used you for my campaign, I’ll see you later c**t.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I asked him to repeat what he said and he yelled back, “Shut up, you old hag. Where’s your crapper? I’m going to drop a couple of bombs myself and then get out of this hellhole.”

I was shocked that this man who had been so kind while the photographers were around was now being so rude, so I asked him politely to leave. That’s when he just went ballistic. He knocked over three of my lamps, broke a couple of my best china pieces, and then took my dead husband’s Medal of Honor and said he was going to have it melted down and made into something called a “cock ring.” I don’t know what that is, but I didn’t like the sound of it.

As if all that weren’t enough, he then said not only was he going to have his SUV do doughnuts in my front yard killing all of my petunias, he was also going to run over my kittens one by one. When I raised my hands to stop him, he broke all my fingers while laughing at me as I screamed in pain. As he was leaving, he said, “You know granny, the funny thing is I hate America. I hate the flag. I hate the troops. I hate guns and I love abortion. Also, when I become president, we’re going to make Spanish the official language of the U.S. and I’m going to trade arms to Hezbollah so they can destroy Israel. Finally, I don’t believe in God. See ya, you old battle ax.” He then defecated on our family Bible, and wiped himself with the Book of Deuteronomy.

So, fellow quilting bee members, please pass this along to as many people as you can. Every word is true. This man must be stopped.

Sincerely,

Eugenia Hogwollop, Sioux City, IA

1 comment:

Unknown said...

wow that freakin hilarious, i just sent it to my mom since shes been sending me lost of stuff like this about Obama lately. thx for the creative post.