GAIL COLLINS: The Campaign-So-Far Quiz

NYT

1. When Mitt Romney’s son revealed that his dad once drove to Canada with Seamus, the Irish setter, stuck in a crate on the car roof, the Republican presidential candidate explained that he did it because Seamus:

A) Was asking for it.

B) Loves fresh air.

C) Has bad breath.

2. When Barack Obama was a state senator, most of the power in the Illinois Legislature was controlled by a tiny group of leaders known as the:

A) Four Tops.

B) Four Freshmen.

C) Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

3. When she entered college, Hillary Clinton was a “Goldwater Girl” who kept “Conscience of a Conservative” in her bookcase. Which event did she say was the “last straw” that led to her break with the party?

A) Actually reading “Conscience of a

Conservative.”

B) Hearing Nixon’s acceptance

speech at the Republican convention.

C) Sharing an elevator with John

Wayne at the Republican convention.

4. According to The Boston Globe, near the end of Mitt Romney’s race for governor in 2002, his campaign ran an ad that was so unpopular it almost cost him the election. The ad was:

A) An endorsement by Seamus.

B) An issues ad explaining Romney’s

position on abortion, featuring helpful

charts and timelines.

C) A spot featuring “the Romneys

talking about their storybook

romance and family.”

5. In the first Democratic debate, former Senator Mike Gravel said he felt as if he was:

A) An Amway distributor who

wandered into the wrong hotel

ballroom.

B) Someone who last held office in

1980.

C) A potted plant.

6. Fred Thompson said that he is always uncomfortable when he’s in New York City because:

A) Residents don’t like “Law and

Order” as much as you’d think.

B) It’s illegal to carry a handgun.

C) It’s hard to get adequate nap time

in a city that never sleeps.

7. Describing the expertise she would bring to the role of first lady, Judith Nathan Giuliani said that the first time she met then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani, she asked him:

A) “Aren’t you married?”

B) “Don’t you think it’s time to

revisit the question of highway

beautification?”

C) “What do you know about

infectious diseases?”

8. Newt Gingrich announced that he was not running for the Republican presidential nomination because:

A) Nobody asked him.

B) Ethics sanctions, government

shutdown, sex scandals.

C) He would have had to give up his

work with the well-known American

Solutions organization.

9. Mike Huckabee said that he is pretty sure that in heaven:

A) We’ll get the full scoop on that

evolution thing.

B) There will be duck hunting.

C) There will be presidential debates

every hour on the hour and all the

angels will have to watch.

10. Dennis Kucinich has:

A) A really hot wife.

B) Appeared in at least 33

presidential debates.

C) Served as mayor of Cleveland but

was not the one who accidentally set

his hair on fire at a ribbon-cutting

ceremony.

D) All of the above.

11. Among the things Rudy Giuliani attributed to 9/11 are:

A) Changing his position on gun

control.

B) His habit of interrupting speeches

to answer cellphone calls from

spouse.

C) His position on federal support for

AIDS medication.

D) Suggesting that his soon-to-be-

disgraced-on-multiple-counts pal

Bernard Kerik be the chief of the

Department of Homeland Security.

E) All of the above.

12. In an interview in Iowa, Fred Thompson expressed doubts about getting diplomatic support from:

A) The Soviet Union.

B) The Byzantine Empire.

C) Siam.

D) Neville Chamberlain.

13. Michelle Obama revealed that when her husband wakes up in the morning he is:

A) Snore-y and stinky.

B) Sleepy and bashful.

C) Sneezy and grumpy.

D) Raring to leap up and start

unifying the country.

14. Hillary Clinton has been driving around Iowa:

A) On a bus called the Middle Class

Express.

B) Aboard the Triangulation Tractor-

trailer.

C) Following the Inevitability

Itinerary.

D) In the Listening Limo. 15. Norman Hsu is:

A) A disgraced Democratic fund-

raiser.

B) The Republican presidential

candidate who stands between

Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo

during the debates.

C) Little-known blogger who broke

the Seamus scandal online.

16. When Richard Nixon learned that Fred Thompson was going to be the Republicans’ counsel on the Watergate investigation, he told aides Thompson was:

A) Fair but lazy.

B) Lazy but tall.

C) Dumb but friendly.

Answers: 1-B, 2-A, 3-B, 4-C, 5-C, 6-B, 7-C, 8-C, 9-B, 10-D, 11-E, 12-A, 13-A, 14-A, 15-A, 16-C