Friday, October 14, 2011

Rick Perry’s Wife Concludes Everyone Hates Him Because He Is Christian

Where has Rick Perry been hiding? Why does everyone hate him now? Is it for the most obvious reason that he is a weird toad who ritually tortures hair products and most often looks like he is asleep every time he tries to get a few words out in a debate? NO, WORSE: he refuses to show up on the teevee.

He did only two interviews with CNBC between the last two GOP debates, on account of being a coward. And if there is exactly one kind of person that the tense crowd of teabagger Americans must fear and distrust as a rule — right after the Muslins – it is someone who hates teevee. (Conversely, this is why teabaggers love Herman Cain, who has been on the kable programz 999,999 times in the last two weeks.)

But, eh, that sounds like a very *reasonable* explanation, which is against the Bible. Rick’s wife Anita has a different, more insane take on the whole situation: Americans hate Rick Perry, it turns out, because Americans hate Jesus. READ MORE »

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