WHO WILL RESCUE SCOTT WALKER FROM ALL THOSE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND PEACEFULLY? asks Ban Ki-moon, in a Facebook status update that doesn’t actually exist. (Haha, we imagine that Scott Walker is probably just relaxing quietly at home, maybe even masturbating to his favorite Brooks Brothers catalog, the one with the dolphin tessellation neckties and fancy springtime Cashmere Depends or whatever.)
Maybe that John Galt guy will pop out of a cake and save Scott Walker and Free Enterprise from the evil unions? (Sadly, no. John Galt is just a fictional rapist from one of Ayn Rand’s horror stories, used during the CIA’s MK-ULTRA mind experiments to give horrible nightmares to small children and woodland creatures.)
Uh, how about that drunken oaf who is always touching us, “Andrew Breitbart”? Maybe he has a fake YouTube video that proves Wisconsin public school teachers are racist against white farmers? That or something equally retarded, yes! READ MORE »
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