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Roger 'the Rocket' Clemens went all out to prove his innocence at Wednesday's Congressional committee hearing.
Just moments after the Rocket's ex-trainer, Brian McNamee, declared under oath that he had injected Clemens with steroids and HGH several times during the now future-in-question hall-of-famer's career, Clemens took the stand and fired a curveball that no one was expecting.
"I'm here to remove all doubt," Clemens said, right before he removed his belt and dropped his pants to his knees. "Look at these balls! Look at these balls!" Clemens proceeded to shout repeatedly in front of a stunned Congress.
That was all Clemens needed to say in a hearing that took just under 30 minutes.
After the hearing, one Congressman, who claimed he was representing all present, said, "We now believe without a doubt that Mr. Clemens is telling the truth. Balls like that don't come from steroid users."
Dr. Ronald Gustoferssen, a steroid expert who was in attendance at the Congressional hearing, confirmed that the Rocket's "balls appeared quite impressive, just as impressive as the balls he used to throw trhoughout his career. Clearly the man did not take steroids."
Brian McNamee, in a seemingly desperate effort to defend himself, told reporters at the conclusion of the hearing that Clemens did not show any medical proof. "Having enormous balls does not by an means prove that you didn't use steroids. The HGH could have offset the steroid usage, maybe even increased the size of his balls. In all my years as a trainer, I have never seen natural balls like those."
In spite of McNamee's claims, Commissioner Bud Selig has already discussed with Congress the need to drop any past, present or future charges and accusations against Clemens. "I never doubted him," Selig announced. "I'm just glad that he had the balls to show us his balls. Now we can all rest a little better and move on to the next era in baseball."
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