Monday, July 16, 2012

Romney’s Tax Man Cometh

Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately. Turns out he may (or may not!) have lied to the SEC about the good times he had at Bain capital between 1999 and 2002, presiding over the disposal of dead fetuses unborn babies before retroactively retiring. Then a bunch of conservatives went on the teevee and demanded that he release more than two years’ of tax returns, except for the Governor of Alabama, who had just said that he thought that PEOPLE, not ROMNEY in particular, just PEOPLE should release their tax returns because of transparency. Even our favorite sexist morning show host Joe Scarborough (no offense to our second favorite sexist morning show host, Steve Doocy!) thinks Romney might have not paid any taxes for a couple years, but that he should just release them anyway and “take the hit.” But this tax returns business is just SILLINESS, because no matter how many tax returns he releases, “it won’t be enough!” It will just give the Obama people more fodder for their lies and distortions. And also, Teresa Kerry (who wasn’t running for president) didn’t release hers and “this wasn’t an issue” (except it was) so why should he, Mitt Romney, lord of the Free Market, master of time, and possessor of a record that is all about winning the future, have to release his?

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