US Headlines - The pubic outcry of prostitutes is all the way from Las Vegas to Bangkok as the new thirty-minute infomercial, "Introducing Bronco's New SuckAmatic, hits the late night television.
"We can't compete with the men or their old ladies purchasing these things!", stated Molly Muppet from Reno. "They just pay the one time and that stupid machine can be used by the wife anytime she doesn't feel like doing it herself and we're all getting screwed..or rather, not."
Meanwhile the makers of the Bronco company say they are doing nothing wrong and that they are not only getting rich fast, but helping marriages and families to stay together.
"That's good for our entire country", stated Bronco spokesman, Howard Huge. "No more 'staying to work late at the office or sudden emergency at headquarters', these guys are hurrying home to embrace their wives and their Broncos."
Bronco says all its products are made here in the U.S. so it is putting thousands of people to work in Denver.
"This way, every time a sports announcer say 'The Denver Broncos' husbands everywhere can look over at the wife and wiggle their eyebrows...and she can wiggle back whatever she thinks her best feature."
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