Friday, March 08, 2013

You May Be Surprised To Learn That Rand Paul’s Filibuster Full Of Blithering Idiocy

Everyone had a great time on Wednesday when Senator Aqua Buddha (R-Better Light Bulbs For a Better America) took to the floor of the Senate to talk about drone killings in one of those old-fashioned filibusters that, were they still standard, would probably ensure more bills got voted on simply because most senators are such lazy and unprincipled hacks that they would never actually stand in the well of the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body and talk for thirteen hours straight to prevent the confirmation of El Jefe Obama’s non-controversial nominee to be the Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Emptying Porta-Potties in National Parks out of spite, but would just file a piece of paper proclaiming their intention to filibuster the way Harry Reid has enabled them to continue to do. It was all lots of fun for political nerds and pundits who have been sounding the alarm about civil liberties for years.

 Glenn Greenwald was later found naked in front of his TV surrounded by dozens of empty bottles of Jurgens and hundreds of wadded-up Kleenexes, both wrists sprained so badly he may never write anything ever again. So, bonus! READ MORE »

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