Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Tea Party Nation Knows What Causes Shootings: Unions, Loud Stereos and Sluts

There was a pretty bad shooting on Friday, and the only thing anybody can talk about is Why It Happened. Logical folk (i.e. us) have been saying it probably had something to do with guns and mental health, but people who don’t want that to be true have been saying there isn’t any evidence for it, despite all the evidence for it.
In their stead, however, they have been providing all sorts of other factors that are much more obvious, and do not require evidence. This is lucky because they do not have any.
The gun-massacre by the guy with seriously questionable mental health was not exacerbated by guns or mental health care, see, it was abortion pills, obviously. Also to blame: children who do not bum-rush gunmen, because they’re stupid. Also, courtesy of Mensa Brain-Astronaut Glenn Beck: Fisher-Price toys. DEFINITELY NOT GUNS.
But there is more. There is sooo much more, and it was decided by Tea Party Nation, so you know it’s real, and not a petty, steaming pile of Puritanical extremist propaganda that travels so far afield from the issues at hand that one can’t help but wonder what they think the issues actually are. Tell us, Tea Party Brain Timothy Birdnow, what are we to do, to stay not dead? READ MORE »

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