Friday, February 17, 2012

Mystery Senator Hints at Mass GOP Suicide if Romney Loses Michigan

Republican voters have had an entire year now give or take to make up their minds about who they want as their candidate for president, yet they continue to gnash their teeth and weep blood a year later like some game show contestant given two minutes to stare at a row of identical boxes and correctly choose the one with the prize (a bag of poop) inside it or be electrocuted with an anal probe.

Which is why a crusty gym sock like Rick Santorum is somehow now completely tied with a rectangular dildo like Mitt Romney in the Mitt-bot’s home state of Michigan, and why Republican leaders are secretly plotting some kind of mass suicide ritual known as “choosing any random other candidate less insane than the idiots already in the race to go and join the race at this late date” if Mitt can’t seal up the nomination post haste. One anonymous panicky U.S. Senator confirms this, according to ABC News! READ MORE »

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