“I rise today to salute the Center for Disease Control and the Providence of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies,” Winnipeg MP Pat Martin announced. “I don’t need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don’t recognize orders, and a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn a continent-wide pandemic if it’s not contained.”
“So on behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, Mr. Speaker, I want to ask the minister of foreign affairs, is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?” Martin asked as other members applauded.
Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird stood up to assure Martin “and all Canadians that I am dedicated to ensuring that this never happens.”
“I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that through the leadership of this prime minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies ever!”
Montana residents were caught off guard earlier this week when television station KRTV’s Emergency Alert System was taken over by hackers to air a message warning about the zombie apocalypse.