Trump’s Vegas Restaurant Gains Popularity Among Bacterial Culture Community

It’s been roughly twenty minutes since our boy Donald Q. Worthington Trump has been in the news, so here’s some background in case you’re unfamiliar with the underreported saga of everyone’s favorite honey-tinted quaff:
The Donald is a massively successful businessman who owns pretty much everything you could imagine owning. Trump is also a popular dissident against a government so radically Socialist it prevents people from being free and owning things. He mastered the art of smelling Kenyans in the late ’90s atop a mountain in Nepal, huddled around a stack of King magazines while sniffing sample patches of sandalwood cologne. Since then he’s achieved enlightenment, reaching the level of MASTER BIRTHER. And he would have been President too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids and their stupid dog.
So what’s The Donald up to now? Sticking it to the LIBRIL FASCISTS by ignoring those pesky and oppressive laws that require restaurants to serve people safe food, that’s what! Sure, the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas had its steakhouse shut down temporarily after logging 51 health code violations during a regular inspection, but can you prove they weren’t planted by the Obama cartel? Besides, we’re positive it’s still the best place on The Strip to mumble about government takeovers with a mouth full of moldy yogurt. Five stars for that, right? READ MORE »