Thursday, January 31, 2008

John McCain Slaps Rush Limbaugh's Face With Florida Win

The National Ledger

Miami — In what appears to be a crushing defeat for conservatism, John McCain has clearly slapped Rush Limbaugh's face with his win in the Florida primary. The vitriol, reaching a fevered pitch by the morning of the Florida primary, came crashing down on Limbaugh on Tuesday night.

Limbaugh's hatred for McCain has created anti-John McCain rhetoric, ending in a duel in the Sunshine State. Encumbered with the vicious attacks by Limbaugh, Senator McCain rose on the backs of spineless moderate Republicans, and stomped on conservatism.

“I enlisted as a foot soldier in the political revolution that he (Ronald Reagan) began. I am proud today to be a Republican conservative today as I was then,” said John McCain in his victory speech. “I would also like to say that this victory is a kick in the teeth to Limbaugh and his ridiculous conservative listeners. This should finally shut the windbag up!”

The sad events of the Florida election have no doubt stabbed the proverbial knife into the back of conservatism, ending a tenured philosophy in American politics, and sending conservatives into the wilderness.

“I promise you again I will always put America — her strength, her ideals, her future — before any other consideration. Tonight, my friends, we celebrate. Tomorrow it's back to work. We have a ways to go, but we're getting close, claimed Senator McCain. “We’re getting closer to amnesty for illegal immigrants, for tax hikes for the rich, for a reduction of greenhouse gases, and for putting an end to the insane asylum known as the EIB Network.”

McCain went on to address the flock that had gathered in Miami, Florida. “Our victory might not have reached landslide proportions, but it is sweet nonetheless. And nothing is sweeter than destroying a political party while sticking it to Limbaugh. How do you like me now, sailor?”

In an appeal to his now defunct audience and ideology, Rush Limbaugh addressed the Florida election results, vowing not to concede, but to fight on. “We did not win. But we did not and we have not lost. I know of all these reports of campaign irregularities. It has been revealed and documented, ladies and gentlemen. My name was left off the ballots in Miami-Dade and Palm Beach Counties, Broward County. My name was not to be found on the ballots in Orlando, Jacksonville, in Tampa, St. Pete. No, no, no, no. Elections are what they are, and one thing we know is there will always be another. This election might have been stolen from us, ladies and gentlemen, but let me assure you we will not—I repeat—we will not. We will not pull an Algore and sue anybody. We will not look at hanging chads, nor lawyers, no lawsuits. Thank you.”

Even though the speech fell on deaf ears, Limbaugh continued to try to salvage a now defeated ideology, saying, “One-third of the Republicans voted for Senator McCain. Our friends in the media predicting my demise talk about how conservatism is dead. Let me ask a simple question, ladies and gentlemen. Why is it that all of the Republican candidates claim to now carry the mantle of Ronald Reagan?”

In desperation, Rush continued to fire at a victorious Senator McCain. “How can I be said to have lost, ladies and gentlemen, when what I stand for is rock-ribbed conservatism, and each one of these candidates—each one of them flawed, by the way, which has caused many conservatives to be wandering aimlessly in the electoral woods. How can it be said that I have lost or that conservatism has lost, when all of our Republican candidates claim to be conservative and to carry the conservative mantle?”

Senator McCain launched his own air strike back, responding to Rush’s extreme hyperbole. “My friends, in one week we will have as close to a national primary as we’ve ever had in this country. I intend to win it and be the nominee of our party. And for those who have been loyal moderates all the way down the line, I would like to say thank you. Thank you so much. And for Rush Limbaugh, I would like to say I demand satisfaction, sir! And when I am President of the United States, I will get my satisfaction. If the Fairness Doctrine doesn’t take care of you, then I’ll come down to the southern EIB command post and take care of it myself, personally, as a man of honor, sir!”

With blood in the water, and the vitriolic attacks coming from the Sunshine State, it appears that conservatism has been left for dead in the Florida swamps. It has been vanquished in the aftermath of the Florida primary, never to return, executed by Senator John McCain, yelling, “Your too extreme, Limbaugh?”

Or is it possible that Rush Limbaugh is right, and that it is simply one election? Is it possible that this election may generate a stronger, harder working conservative base, spreading a conservative fire not seen since 1980?

And is it possible that the highest price we pay in America is for ignorance? Senator John McCain and the mainstream media know so.

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