Rand Paul Proposes Reopening Just Enough of Government to Hold New Hearings on Benghazi

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Adding his voice to the eleventh-hour debate about the government shutdown, Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) today proposed reopening just enough of the government to hold new hearings on Benghazi.
“Across this great nation of ours, people are suffering,” he told Fox News’s Megyn Kelly. “Suffering, Megyn, because they still don’t know what really happened in Benghazi.”
Noting that the government shutdown had furloughed investigators who could be looking into Benghazi, he said, “If there’s something in our government more worthy of funding than that, I can’t think of it.”
Senator Paul said he knew that he would draw the ire of fellow Republicans by suggesting that the government be partially reopened, but added, “Sometimes, you have to put politics aside when there is something more important at stake, and I think any reasonable person would agree that there is nothing more important than getting to the bottom of Benghazi.”
“For the two weeks of this shutdown, the American people have had no new information about Benghazi,” he said. “It’s time to stop the madness.”