What do we know about this “Barack Hussein Obama” person anyway? Beyond the obvious stuff, of course, like the fact that he is the son of Malcolm X, was a spy in Pakistan, and astrally projected to Mars,
we mean. But how is it possible, in today’s modern media-saturated
world of iPhones and 24-hour news and Interocitors, that we can know so
little about the man who was (allegedly) elected president in 2008? Even
now, as he seeks re-election, many people openly say he is an enigma.
Thankfully, a small corps of hero citizen-journalists are determined
to find out the details of this mystery-man’s life, especially his
college years, because as we all know, youth is when all the truly
scandalous stuff emerges, like how Richard Nixon was so besotted with
Thelma Catherine “Pat” Ryan that he would drive her to and from dates
with other men (science fact! look it up!), a youthful quirk that
clearly prefigured the secret bombing campaign in Cambodia.
As you may recall, Your Wonkette recently tackled the thorny question of young Barack Obama’s mysterious ring, which super-smart citizen-investigator Dr. Jerome Corsi, PhD, has pointed out, he wore even though he was not married!!!
Rejecting the obvious explanation, which is that young Barry was simply
so super-sexxxay that he needed something to hold the ladies at bay (or
maybe he just liked wearing a ring, which is, we know, a stretch), we
decided it might be amusing to play off Corsi’s nuttiness in a True
Confessions first-person piece, from the perspective of Barry’s secret
first wife, and then, for the lulz, to make it a secret first ghey wife,
who he married in Pakistan during his spy mission.
Loyal Wonketteers, we are pleased to announce that we are psychic. READ MORE »
No comments:
Post a Comment