The Senate Banking Committee ordered Wall Street fuck-up and J.P. Morgan
Chase CEO Jamie Dimon to testify Wednesday on how his bank managed to
turn over $2 billion into poop and whether this latest round of
derivative market gambles equivalent to staking money on Peggy Noonan’s
sobriety should, in fact, necessitate a few moderate regulations to
prevent such things in future. Just kidding, please drug test
yourself immediately for meth if you thought this would happen. Famous
idiot Senator Jim DeMint used Dimon’s visit to hold a whiny losers
support group meeting. “We can hardly sit in judgement of your losing $2
billion,” said
DeMint. “We lose twice that every day here in Washington and plan to
continue to do that every day.” Did we say support group? We meant a
slippery, wrinkled white orgy, and that was foreplay. We discourage you
from reading the following filth on a work computer. READ MORE »
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