“Tea partier” Mark Williams writes ‘letter to Abe Lincoln’ … from the ‘coloreds’

Reid Report

If you’re feeling pissy that the NAACP condemned your witch doctor signage and you’re out to prove that your movement isn’t racist, wouldn’t it help not to actually say anything that might be construed as racist?

Mark Williams, right wing talk show host, CNN favorite and “organizer” of the corporate-backed Tea Party Express, was all over the airwaves Wednesday, defending “the movement” against the NAACP’s condemnation. I guess Sarah Palin’s linguistic stylings and Michael Steele’s pitifully toned down tweets weren’t enough to get the point across, so Williams was meant to be the closer.

But Williams has a strange way of proving he and his movement aren’t racist…....

........But Williams was just getting started. Also Wednesday, he took his “non-racist” commentary to the next level, penning his version of an “open letter” to Abe Lincoln … from the “colored people…” in which he accuses black people, or sorry “coloreds,” of not wanting to work, of “striving for welfare,” and wanting to buy “flat screen TVs” with white people’s stolen money. Seriously. It’s an apparent attempt at satire, I suppose, but which aligns perfectly with the views of the tea party movement, which is by and large a mash-up of Libertarians who want to get rid of Social Security, disappointed Palin cultists and old geezer racists who believe Obama only got himself elected so he can steal all the white people’s money and hand it out in the hood.

Here’s the full Mark Williams post, followed by a screenshot (just in case he thinks better of it tonight and decides to erase it. … not that that’s likely…) with emphases added:

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target coloreds. That means we Coloreds would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we coloreds ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew NAACP Head Colored Person..............................................