Clinton’s Attack Ads

In a sign of confidence, Hillary has begun airing vicious political advertisements … targeting herself.

By Andy Borowitz

Oct. 2, 2007 - In a sign of confidence befitting her status as front runner, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton today began airing what her aides are calling “extremely vicious attack ads about herself.” The advertisements, airing in key early states like New Hampshire and Iowa, take Sen. Clinton to task for everything from her position on Iraq to her failed health-care proposals of the 1990s, to what aides characterized as her “whiny voice and annoying cackle.”

With Clinton showing double-digit leads in many polls and steamrolling her rivals in recent debates, aides said that spending precious campaign funds to attack herself sends a message to voters that the New York senator “feels good about how the campaign is going.” While negative ads have become commonplace in political campaigns, Clinton’s bruising ads are believed to be the first time a political candidate has spent her own money to attack herself.

“The American people want a leader,” said Clinton campaign spokeswoman Carol Foyler. “And if her rivals won’t come out and attack her, Sen. Clinton is going to show leadership by attacking herself.”

Perhaps in a bid to blunt the effect of Clinton’s self-attacking ad campaign, Sen. Barack Obama today began airing what his aides are calling “his politest ads to date.” In the TV spots, a soft-spoken Obama looks into the camera and says, “Sen. Clinton, I am asking you nicely to please stop winning by so much.”

Elsewhere, in his first major proposal on global warming, President Bush today declared war on the sun.